So how do you avoid negative assumptions in your life? It's an absolutely beautiful day here in Okanogan, and I'm just looking out my office window and thinking to myself about how everyone has a choice. What choice is that? To think positive thoughts, or to think negative thoughts.
And I know sometimes it doesn't feel like a choice. We all have negative thoughts pop into our heads without being able to control them. But I think the key is what you do next, once that happens. Do you let yourself ruminate and stew? Or, do you acknowledge the feeling, and be understanding of yourself, but then gently put the feeling out of your mind?
Lately, I have been working on doing things the second way. So today I want to share with you 3 tips I use daily, to avoid negative assumptions, and instead look at the glass half-full! You'd be surprised how much of a difference it really makes:
1. Banish fear
Let's look at an example. What if you have something that's really important to you, and it's just a nail-biter situation? You're just wondering, "Is this going to work out? Is it not going to work out?" If you do this, you are letting fear take over, and so you are subconsciously favoring that negative outcome. When we're not careful, we can let fear creep in.
Here's what I do: As I said, I banish these thoughts by first acknowledging them, accepting them, and accepting the fact that I feel worried right now. This is important because a lot of people get down on themselves for having a negative mindset.
Does that SOLVE the negative mindset? Of course not! Instead of solving the problem, you go into a negative feedback loop, and it makes everything worse! So instead, I tell myself, "I know you're nervous right now. But, even though you're not sure what's going to happen, you can still relax."
Why can I relax? Because I know I already put my best out into the universe. There's already a cause-and-effect that's happening with this. I already set the wheels in motion. And so you can relax, knowing that whatever does happen in the end, you'll know what to do when you get there. It's easy to banish fearful thoughts when you acknowledge them, and then tell yourself, "OK, relax. Now all I can do is send out positive energy."
2. "Stay in the dream"
What I always say is, "Stay in the dream." "Stay in the idea." What exactly does this mean? It means you come up with an action plan, and then you focus on it. Let's take another example! I was just talking to a gentleman who was really excited about buying a new car. I asked him, "You seem excited, that's great – but what could you do to create an income, to work towards that goal?" He already had a job, so he shrugged.
For me, this is the exciting part when talking to people about their goals – getting them to STRIVE for more. This man never thought about trying to find a supplementary or secondary income, to work towards buying the car on a faster timeline. Most people don't. And, in a sense, that is similar to a negative assumption. "I want to buy a car, and I'm excited about it, but it will take forever." Instead of letting this negative assumption ride, focus and come up with an idea or action plan to see your wish fulfilled. "Stay in the dream." "Stay in the idea."
3. Be kind to yourself
So far, I've been talking about how to get rid of fear and anxiety, clear your mind, and instead focus on dreams, ideas, and goals. But I think the most important part of changing negative assumptions (and avoiding the tendency toward negative assumptions) is being kind to yourself. I already went into this a little bit. You have to accept and acknowledge your feelings, and then, you have to think about the positive. Which is often that, you tried your best, you put your best energy into the universe, and now you just have to wait for that cause and effect to take its natural course.
But in the Meantime…
It’s still hard to avoid fear and anxiety, and negative assumptions when you've got that nail-biter situation on your hands. So in order to be kind to yourself, I recommend practicing self-care. You've most likely already heard of self-care as a stress management technique – activities such as meditation, going to the gym, or taking a nice hot bath. Self-care is all of these things, and it means something different to every person.
Basically, self-care is: "an act you do for yourself, for your physical or mental health." A lot of people get confused by this because they don't know whether it means getting enough sleep, which is healthy or eating a couple of extra cookies, which is technically not so healthy. Self-care is both. It is multidimensional. It is whatever you need to do to promote a healthy mind and body, to get rid of fear and anxiety.
Also remember, you DESERVE it! So many people fail to make self-care a priority, and so I want to encourage you to do that today. In fact, I think that will help you change your assumptions, and avoid negative assumptions, just because you're feeling more relaxed and positive overall.
So until next time, I encourage you to do all 3 of these things. You could also write little positive affirmations to yourself, or you could start thinking about how to build a positive self-image. Have fun, and keep your assumptions in the right place!!
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