We’ve all heard it. That inner monologue! That little voice inside of our heads that keeps a running commentary on our actions.
Sometimes it is a cheerleader, applauding success, or giving encouragement. At other times, it gives us reason to doubt an action or second-guess a decision.
It’s easy to see why the inner monologue is often pictured as a devil and an angel sitting on each shoulder, whispering in your ear.
It’s also safe to say that the voice is so continuous that you probably don’t even pay active attention to it anymore. It just becomes another thought in the entire process.
Stop to reflect on your inner monologue for a minute. Would you say that you have more support from the angel, or would the devil be chasing each of your decisions?
If you chose the latter, you may have just answered another important question: How can I stop negative energy from ruining my plans?
They actually go hand in hand.
Self-fulfilling prophecies
Have you heard these before?
· Think positive thoughts.
· Give what you expect to receive.
How about a computer-based one? “Garbage in, garbage out.â€
All of these are examples of the premise that your actions and decisions are the results of your thought process. Even though it’s unsaid, if you think positive thoughts, then (theoretically) good things will occur. The same goes for giving what you expect to receive.
That last one has a more negative connotation. If you think bad things or succumb to bad influences, your output (i.e., decisions) will also be bad. The devil on your shoulder takes control.
So, what can you do about it?
Flip the Script.
The most important thing, before you act on these three tools, is to have a very clear vision of exactly what you want in your life, what your goal is, what your vision is. These tools will not work unless you fill your mind with the perfect life that you desire. I realize that might be a challenge, so I’m going to give you three simple ways that you can change your inner monologue.
1. Reduce Negativity in Your Life.
This is by far the most important thing you can do to change your inner monologue, and it covers a wide range of behaviors and actions.
People
Is there a toxic co-worker who brings you down? What about a friend who always seems to go from one drama to another? And can’t we all pick out a relative with who we never see eye-to-eye?
Now, obviously, some of these may be easier to address than others. You can’t change your co-worker, but you can limit your contact with them as much as possible.
Close friends and family are more difficult. If the friendship has lasted many years, you may be in a place where you can speak frankly with your friend. That would be a fortunate situation because you could explain how the drama affects you.
You don’t have to do that in a negative way, either. We’re thinking positive, right? Tell your friend that it hurts you to see the unhappiness and try to encourage a change in their mindset as well. You might both benefit from that different perspective.
If it’s an acquaintance, it might be easier to end the friendship entirely, especially if you do not see any consequences to doing so.
For family, you probably have to walk carefully and evaluate what fuels the conflict. If it’s something obvious (like politics) simply avoid discussing the topic – and refuse to be drawn in if they try to start something.
If it’s something deeper, it may take more effort. Only you can know your family dynamic and if you can’t come to terms with each other, you’ll have to determine whether or not keeping the person in your life is worth the negativity they bring.
Social Media
Plainly put, it can be the most toxic relationship you have. It’s so easy to get caught up in the relative anonymity of the internet, and all of the petty comments and fights that go with it.
Who needs it? Ask yourself if arguing with any stranger on the internet actually made a difference in your life other than to upset you or make you angry. I think you’ll find the answer pretty easily.
Use it as you see fit but try not to engage in the downward spiral of others.
2. Be True to Your Original Nature
What makes you happiest? If someone gives you the perfect gift for your birthday, are you more excited about the material item or that the person knew you well enough to pick something meaningful?
Humans are meant to appreciate and learn from nature and the world around us. Society has increasingly put an emphasis on obtaining material wealth in many forms. But what about spiritual wealth?
Change your perspective to focus on the innate goodness of people. It’s still there – just sometimes harder to find, and you may have to work at it.
Practice kindness to strangers. Find forgiveness in a perceived slight.
Stop competing for the material and learn to excel at the natural feelings that have been hidden.
Bottom Line – Your original nature is what you want, not what you should do or what you ought to do or what you are obligated to do, or what you think others would like or approve of. It is what you want. And taking time to figure that out requires that you do some work on YOU.
3. Spend Time in Silence
We are constantly surrounded by noise of all kinds. There are the demands of work, family, friends, and other commitments. The bombardment of ads and trends can create more discord. The aforementioned social media noise can be excruciating.
Take time away from it. All of it.
Ideally, try to carve out a significant amount of time so that you can achieve true contemplation and serenity. That won’t be easy to do if kids are banging on the bedroom door every five minutes!
Figure out a way to give yourself time to sit in silence, even if it’s for a few minutes at a time. Take a brief shortcut (or longcut) on the way home from work. Stop somewhere for 10 minutes to just allow yourself to breathe.
Even better, find something that puts your mind at peace and keeps it occupied. It could be a hobby like knitting or ceramics. Maybe you find cleaning the house to be therapeutic.
We spend most of our life reacting to everything around us. Spending time in silence, meditating on what you want, gives you the clarity to move forward with a new perspective and know how to measure everything that you do up against what you want. This is the key; if you are doing things that do not relate to your goal, and reacting to everything that the wind blows in, then your goal will have a hard time coming into physical form.
You’ll be surprised at how much easier it will be to evaluate your inner monologue if you don’t have other things competing to distract you.
By reducing negativity, allowing yourself to embrace your true nature, and periodically allows you to fill your mind with what you want, your goal, your desire, what you would really love. You can build a strong mindset that can change your inner monologue to guide you on a more positive path. Now go banish that negative little devil on your shoulder!
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